Sunday, November 10, 2013

Useful Information

Police arrested a drunkard at midnight on the streets and asked: Where are you going? Man: I’m going to listen to a lecture on the ill effects of drinking.

Cop: Who’ll lecture at midnight?

Man: My wife…

——————————————————————————————– Law Professor: Which is the most important LAW of Finance for Starting a New Business?

Student: Father-in-Law!

——————————————————————————————– What’s the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?

Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?

——————————————————————————————– What’s the difference between Complete and Finished?

If you find a good wife, you are complete, otherwise you are finished.

——————————————————————————————– So many options: Poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, but we choose Marriage, slow and sure!

——————————————————————————————– Have you heard about the man who threw his wife into a pond of crocodiles? He’s now being harassed by the animal rights for being cruel to the crocodiles.

——————————————————————————————– Two men are talking. 1st: I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.

2nd: Amazing, I just got divorced for the very same reasons

——————————————————————————————– Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me?

Husband: I won’t have to pay you, you’ll get my entire insurance amount.

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